What An Odd Pair!
by Sabrina Sparrow
Summary: Basically, what I'm doing is taking requests from you all. Any two Skulduggery characters that you want me to put together, whether it's just for a laugh, or whether it's your secret OTP as long is it's not too freaky, I will do it.
1. Shavel: He Shouldn't Be Here

**Hello Little Sparrows! For those of you who haven't yet been acquainted with me, I am Sabrina Sparrow. I have written plen of other stories on here, if you feel like checking them out :)**

**So, this story is called: "What An Odd Pair!" Basically, what I'm doing is taking requests from you all. Any two Skulduggery characters that you want me to put together, whether it's just for a laugh, or whether it's your secret OTP, I will do it. Of course, I wont be doing anything overly-weird, for example, Nye and Valkyrie (ewewewewewewewwwww!), but other than that, bring it on. This is just designed to be a bit pf fun, a bit of a laugh to keep you going until the next SP book comes out. It's not desinged to be serious or anything, so just sit back and relax! Bring me your weirdest and most wonderful pairings!**

**... I do realise I'm risking a LOT of abuse for this. If you don't like it, I'm really sorry! I realise i'm not everyone's cup of tea!**

**This story was requested a LOOOONG time ago by little Miss Evangeline Evergreen :)**

**Enjoy! ... if you can...**

The Midnight Hotel groaned and rumbled as it sprung up from the Earth, reaching for the sky, the bricks and tiles slotting into place. The handsome man with the brown hair, sapphire blue eyes and slight stubble on his square jaw line stared at the tall building before him and swallowed down the hard lump caught in his throat.

He shouldn't be here.

But that was just the problem. He _was_ here. He had broken his promise to stay away. He _had_ to see him – even if it was one last time. Even if it was forbidden. Even if no one else would understand. Not even him. _Him_ with the long dark hair and eyes that would match, and the lips that always pulled into the softest of smiles.

He took in a deep breath, calming his nerves, and walked over to the door of the Hotel. He reached for the handle, then pulled away, scared. No. He had to do this. He _had _to. He opened the door and stepped inside the spacious, old-fashioned lobby. It was empty inside.

The door to the staff lounge behind the check-in desk opened and a beautiful, tall man came out, his long hair hanging down either side of his face that was smiling.

The man saw the guest standing in his lobby and his smile disappeared. "Erskine." He whispered.

"Anton." Erskine for his part tried to not let his knees betray him and let him collapse to the floor.

"What are you doing here, Erskine?" Anton said, coldly.

"I... well, I came to see you."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

Anton swallowed down a lump in his throat and had to grip onto the desk to stop him from falling over. "Because the last time you were here you promised me you wouldn't come back."

Erskine cast his gaze down to the floor. "I know. I'm sorry. I missed you."

"Don't say that." Anton shook his head. "You don't get to say that to me anymore. Not after what you did."

"Anton, that's unfair."

"Oh, is it?" Anton walked out from behind his desk and over to face Erskine. "Because the last time you were here I found you in my office, making love to some Russian _hussy_."

"I was drunk."

"You were being just plain spiteful."

Erskine sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Okay, so what if I was? You upset me! After the war, we said goodbye, went our separate ways and promised we'd meet up again soon. I get back here, to The Midnight Hotel while it was stopped in Russia, after years of pining for you, and you..." Erskine's voice broke but he quickly recovered, "... you told me _no_. That part of your life was behind you. That what happened in the war was nothing, just a moment of madness caused by years of loneliness. You _broke my heart_. Next thing I know, I'm roaming the streets of Russia, looking for something else to do. I find a Russian hooker with nothing better to do, and you have the _arrogance_ and _insensitivity_ to tell me that _I'm_ in the wrong? You selfish _bastard!"_

Anton looked at him with hard eyes. "You had to rub it in though, didn't you? In my office, after hours – you _knew_ I would walk in on you!"

"I wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting!" Erskine screamed at him.

"I already was!" Anton screamed back. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, calming himself. "You shouldn't be here."

"And yet here I stand."

"You should go."

"I'd rather stay."

"I'm a busy man."

"It's empty in here."

"Erskine," Anton sighed, "I don't _want_ you here."

Erskine stopped. The pain in his eyes was unmistakable. "Because you don't love me anymore."

Anton hushed him. "Will you keep your voice down? Someone could walk in at any moment!"

"I really don't care. The point is, you don't love me anymore, but you don't even have the decency to admit to it."

"Erskine!" Anton snapped. "For the love of _God_, shut up!"

"When did you stop loving me? When was the _exact _moment when you fell out of love with me, huh?"

"If you don't shut your God-damned mouth, Ravel, I swear I am going to lamp you one!"

"Can you even give me three good reasons – no, even _one_ good reason why you don't love me anymore?"

Anton growled and lunged at Erskine, punching him straight across the jaw. Erskine stumbled back, eyes wide and shocked, before he swung his own punch back at Anton, crunching a fist against the side of his face. The two men just stood there, panting, staring at each other for a few moments before Anton ran at Erskine again. He pushed him up against the wall and their lips met with hard determination.

Anton pulled back, tears in his eyes. "Don't you _dare _ever accuse me of not loving you _ever_ again! Do you hear me, Ravel?"

Erskine felt himself choke up but refused to cry. He reached a hand up and traced his thumb lightly over Anton's lower lip. "I've missed you so much. You don't know how long I've waited for this moment."

Anton's expression was a mixture of lust and agony. "Oh, I think I do."

Erskine cupped Anton's face in his hands and pulled him in for a much softer, tender kiss. Their lips melted together, and Anton pressed harder against Erskine, trapping him against the wall. Erskine caught Anton's lower lip between his teeth and tugged slightly on it, sending trembles down Anton's spine accompanied by a low moan of ecstasy.

Anton pulled away, breathing hard and fast. "God, I love you."

Erskine smiled, "I love you too," and pulled him back against him.

**So! I hope you liked it!**

**Now it's up to you! Bring me your pairings!**

**xoxo**


	2. Thrashgrace: Explosion Gone Wrong

**Come on. You could ALL see this one coming...**

"Oww..." Thrasher groaned painfully, writhing in agony on the grass.

The explosion-gone-wrong had shaken them both badly, but Scapegrace managed to roll up onto his knees without all the unnecessary moaning, like his pathetic minion. "Oh, for God's sake, Thrasher, stop being so dramatic about everything. We survived didn't we?"

"Oh, God... it hurts..." Thrasher whimpered.

Sighing, Scapegrace got to his feet. "Come on. Get up. We need to get out of here before Pleasant and Cain get called in."

"I don't think I can move." Thrasher whispered.

"Oh for the Love of God..."

It was only when Scapegrace heard the soft sobs coming from Thrasher, did the first flicker of worry spark inside Scapegrace. "Thr... Thrasher? Are you okay?"

More crying.

Suddenly, Scapegrace was running. "Thrasher!" He ran to Thrasher and dropped to his knees at his side. The first thing he saw was blood. There was blood everywhere. Then he saw the huge spike of wood – it must have come from the exploding building – stabbing him through the stomach. "Oh... God... Thrasher..." He whispered.

"Master?" Thrasher cried softly.

Scapegrace didn't know what to do. He couldn't call the Sanctuary – they'd arrest them – and he couldn't fix him himself. He just dumbly patted Thrasher's arm. "You... you'll be alright."

"I'm going to die."

"Don't say that!" Scapegrace snarled, surprised by the fierceness in his voice.

"But I am."

"I won't let you. I... you're my... friend..."

A tremor of pain wracked through Thrasher's body, making him cry out in pain. Scapegrace instinctively held him closer, pulling his head onto his lap, stroking his clammy cheek softly.

"Shh, shh," Scapegrace soothed. "It'll be alright."

"Make it go away. Make it stop hurting."

"I... I don't know how." Scapegrace said helplessly. "I don't know what to do."

"I have to tell you something, Master." Thrasher whispered.

"Yes? You can tell me anything."

"I... I think it will make you angry, Master."

Scapegrace smiled weakly. "You always make me angry. Let's hear it."

"I don't want you to hate me before I die."

"Good _God,_ Thrasher, I promise I won't hate you, just tell me!"

More tears brimmed over Thrasher's cheeks. "I love you, Master Scapegrace."

Scapegrace's face went slack. "You... you _what_?"

"I love you. I had to tell you. Before I die."

"You... _love_ me?"

"Always have. Always will."

Scapegrace's eyes became pained. "Oh... God..."

"Have I upset you, Master?" Thrasher whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"I... I don't know how to feel. Of course you haven't upset me."

"It's okay if you don't love me back." Thrasher murmured, weakly. "I understand.

Scapegrace sighed again and bowed his head to the dying man in his lap. He lightly pressed his lips to his and pulled away again, tears swimming in his eyes.

"Thank you." Thrasher mumbled, eyes closed now. "I'll take that with me."

"Yeah, well..." Scapegrace swallowed the lump in his throat. "You better."

Another tremor worked its way through Thrasher, making him scream in agony. Scapegrace held him close, only letting go when he felt him go limp in his arms. Scapegrace looked down at him, his breath hitching in his throat.

He was gone.

A solitary tear rolled down Scapegrace's cheek. "I love you too." He whispered to the dead man in his arms.

**Ugh, I'm actually dying from all this sickly sweetness ;)**

**If on one chapter I write a pairing that you really like don't be afraid to request more of it, I don't mind :)**

**xoxo**


	3. Fletchaen: Screw Valkyrie

**Oh, Little Sparrows! I can tell you've all been having fun thinking up the most horrible, bizarre and lovely pairings for me to write about, and I must say that firstly, you're all insane, secondly, there are some of you I really worry about, and thirdly, some of you have come up with some genuinely lovely pairings! I have printed out all of your requests (and there were very many of them!) and I am going to be going through them one by one, writing them all, so be patient and I'm sure you will see your request soon :)**

**Here's to the people who requested this: Mademise Morte and Adrasdos Dark!**

**Warning: This gets a little steamy, but it's not too explicit :)**

"I'll pop to Rome and get us that pizza you like." Fletcher said, smiling.

"Okay." Valkyrie tiptoed up and kissed him. "Hurry back."

With a soft popping noise he was gone. Fletcher however was not going to Rome. Not yet anyway. He had someone he had to meet first. Fletcher stood in the forest in Roarhaven, alone, shivering in the breeze. He was suddenly very aware of how exposed he was. Vulnerable and open in the wooded area. No one knew he was here. What if something bad happened? What if it was a trap?

"You came." Said a soft voice from behind him,

Fletcher whirled round and saw the tall, gorgeous boy, with the jet black hair sweeping low over his eyes that were so dark they made a midnight sky jealous. "You asked me to." He replied, stiffly.

"And you didn't come here because you wanted to see me?" Caelan asked, a ghost of a smile lingering on his pale, pouting lips.

"I came here because _you_ wanted to see _me_." Fletcher said through gritted teeth. "I don't even _like_ you Caelan."

"I beg to differ."

"You're insane."

"You're beautiful."

"_Enough."_

"I can feel it. The chemistry when we are near. You can feel it too. Don't deny it."

Fletcher sighed. "Look, Caelan, just stop, okay? Shouldn't you be crying in a corner somewhere about your unrequited love for my girlfriend?"

Caelan laughed, a velvety sound. "I only pretend to love her to get closer to you, and you _know_ it." He stepped closer to Fletcher, his grin broadening when he didn't take a step back. "And here we are. Alone in this big forest. _Anything_ could happen."

"I won't _let_ anything happen."

Caelan's grin broadened. "Well… I could always… _make_ you."

"I love Valkyrie." Fletcher murmured, weakly, staring at Caelan's lips.

Caelan took another step closer. "Screw Valkyrie. You love me more."

"Look, Caelan, that night… that one night was after a fight with Valkyrie. It didn't mean anything. I was angry. I went to a bar and you were there and… things happened. But I won't let it happen again."

"Fletcher…"

"It was a _mistake."_

Caelan took yet another step towards Fletcher, so they were only an arm's length apart. "Yes. A mistake. Of course it was. You're only human after all, and humans make _lots_ of mistakes." He reached out and snagged Fletcher's belt buckle, pulling him closer, their noses almost touching. "Lots and _lots_ of mistakes."

Fletcher's breath came out shallow and ragged. "Caelan… Caelan no. Stop."

Caelan inclined forward, pressing his face into Fletcher's neck, kissing his skin softly.

Fletcher shivered. "Caelan… please…"

His hands trailed upwards, pushing under Fletcher's shirt, clutching desperately at his waist.

All Fletcher could do now was let out a low moan, tilting his head back so Caelan could kiss his neck better, his hands knotting in the back of Caelan's hair.

"Please…" Fletcher whispered, but this time it was not in protest.

Caelan smiled against Fletchers skin and trailed his kisses upwards, grazing his lips over his mouth.

"Kiss me." Fletcher pleaded. "Caelan, please. Kiss me, now."

Caelan's lips descended upon Fletcher's with soft determination, cupping his face in his hands. Their lips melted together, caressing each other. Caelan caught Fletcher's lower lip between his teeth and bit down gently, his fangs drawing blood. Caelan licked off the blood from his lips before returning it to Fletcher's mouth.

With Fletcher's fresh blood coursing through his veins, Caelan could no longer remain gentle. He growled softly, seductively, grabbed Fletcher by the shoulders and pushed him back, until he was pushed back up against a tree. He wrapped his strong hands around Fletcher's wrists and pinned him against the tree, leaning his body into him, making Fletcher let out another soft moan.

Caelan's lips met Fletcher's again, mercilessly, and their mouths crushed together. One of Caelan's hands let go of Fletcher's wrist and snaked down his torso. His hand stopped at the crotch of the blonde boy's jeans and he squeezed gently. Fletcher yelped in surprise, and then began to flush red at his embarrassing reaction.

Caelan pulled away and smiled at him knowingly. "It's okay. Don't be embarrassed. You're new at this. Practically a virgin. I'll go easy on you. "

Fletcher pouted at him. "Caelan, we both know I'm _not_ a virgin."

"I said _practically_. Now hush. Let me spend some time focusing on _you_. Let me make you happier than Valkyrie could _ever_ make you."

He kissed Fletcher again, delicately, his fingers unbuttoning his shirt, pulling the fabric away from his skin, revealing his toned torso. Caelan leaned in and kissed his chest, trailing the soft pecks downwards until he was on his knees. He felt Fletcher trembling and he softly kissed his waistline above his belt buckle.

"Relax." Caelan whispered.

Fletcher only nodded.

Caelan undid his belt buckle and tugged his trousers down. He ran his hands up Fletcher's inner thighs, his fingers brushing the insides of his boxers. Fletcher gasped slightly and Caelan smiled again. He kissed his waistline again and pulled his boxers down, trailing kisses south, he went down on Fletcher.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Caelan kissed Fletcher again softly as he did up his shirt buttons for him. "Do you have to go?"

"Yeah." Fletcher sighed. "Valkyrie will be wondering where I got to."

He cupped Fletcher's face in his hands and bowed their heads so their foreheads were touching. "Promise me you'll see me again?"

Fletcher smiled and brushed his thumb over Caelan's lower lip. "I promise."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They kissed again and with a soft popping noise, Fletcher was gone. Caelan stood alone in the forest, missing him already.

**I hope you all liked it!**

**Don't forget, if I write a pairing you like, keep hasseling me so I will write more of it!**

**xoxo**


	4. Shudderkin: Taking The Lead

**Time for another chapter methinks! So! This is another male/male paiting (Shudder and Larrikin), but don't go thinking I'm just obsessed with guy pairings, lol, I'm not :) Next up we have some Vile/Darquesse :D**

**This suggestion came from the amazing mind of Evangeline Evergreen - thank you honey :)**

**I hope you all like it!**

**(BTW, I've upped the rating to an M, wink wink, nudge nude, for the future!)**

Larrikin had been drawn to Anton from the moment they first met. Anton was tall, slender, and toned. He was white as snow, with ebony hair falling own either side of his face, brushing over his shoulders. His eyes, so dark, seemed to hold the entire universe within them. His smile seemed to hold a million secrets. His voice could keep the waves upon the shore and his laugh could make your knees buckle.

There was no doubt about it. Anton Shudder was absolutely beautiful – well, in a manly sort of way. Not in the classically gorgeous way Erskine was, or the typically handsome way Dex was. Nor was he ripped like Ghastly, or practically a male-model like Skulduggery. Anton was graceful, elegant, sleek and smooth, and he reminded Larrikin of a panther about to pounce.

And he wasn't bad looking either in his own way. He had a certain boyish charm about him. Larrikin had caramel-sandy-blonde, tousled hair, and ever-so-slightly sun-kissed skin. His eyes were leaf green with golden-brown flecks, rimmed with long eyelashes. He was average height and well-toned, and he had the most irresistible grin ever seen.

Looking at himself in the broken mirror in his tent, he rubbed his slightly stubbly jaw and smiled a cheeky smile. Practising. Perfecting the smile he knew would melt Anton's heart even if he would never admit it. Anton was just so closed off. Always reluctant to be overly-romantic. Never wanting to indulge in his feelings. Never wanting to discuss his emotions. Larrikin had to really work on him when they were together.

He splashed on some aftershave, wincing slightly, and grinned at his reflection. Time for his… _date_.

He strolled out of his tent and smiled, looking around the Dead men's base camp. The sun was setting and Skulduggery, Dex, Ghastly and Erskine were down by the lake getting washed up. The only other person left on the camp was Anton in his little tent opposite Larrikin's.

He took a deep breath and walked over to the other man's tent. He popped his head inside. "Knock, knock."

Anton looked up from where he was sitting on his roll-up sleeping bag, and put his book down. "Larrikin." He smiled one of his slow, seductive smiles. "You came."

Larrikin stumbled inside and grinned at Anton. "Keep smiling at me like that and I just might."

Anton tilted his head back and laughed. "You amuse me, Larrikin."

Larrikin fought down a rising blush. "Uh… thank you."

Anton smiled and reached a hand out to touch Larrikin's cheek, making his blush deeper. "Getting a little hot under the collar?"

He turned his face into Anton's hand and kissed his fingertips. "Only because you make me that way."

Anton smiled his slow smile again, showing his perfect teeth this time. "Hmm, so… _innocent_. Practically the baby of the group."

"Just because I'm the youngest…"

"You need to be guided."

And you're the one to lead me, are you, Anton?"

His hand trailed from Larrikin's face, down his neck, onto his torso, His fingers curled into Larrikin's shirt and he pulled him loser until their noses were touching. "I'm here to do _whatever_ you want."

"Don't tease me."

"But it's so much _fun_." He ran a hand through Larrikin's soft, shaggy hair. "It's been a long time since we've been together."

Larrikin looked down into his lap. "_Too_ long."

"Don't be sad." Anton soothed. "I'm here." He leaned in and kissed Larrikin but pulled away quickly when he wasn't kissing him back. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing." He sighed.

"Tell me."

"It's nothing."

"Larrikin, please?"

He looked up at Anton; his eye's wide and sad like a doe's. "Is this all I am to you? A playmate? Something to do when you're bored? All there is between us at the moment is the physical side of things. There's no intimacy. You never tell me how you really _feel_, so I never know if I'm anything more than just your bit on the side. And that _hurts_ me, Anton. I don't think you know how it feels. You're always so perfect and composed, and I'm the complete opposite. I…" His voice cracked. "I don't know if I can do this with you anymore if you don't feel for me the way I feel for you."

Anton's usually poised expression unexpectedly softened and his looked at the other man with true affection. "Larrikin… Larrikin, look at me."

"No." he sighed. "Maybe… maybe I should just go."

"Please look at me. Please?" He put a finger under his chin and tilted his head up so he had to look him in the eyes.

Larrikin's eyes swelled with tears, but he refused to let any of them fall. "Yes, Anton?"

"Larrikin…" he whispered. "Larrikin. I thought you knew how I felt. I'm just not good at discussing my emotions with others, but I thought you knew how much I cared about you? You… you are my whole world."

Larrikin looked up, and despite himself, a glossy tear rolled down his cheek. "You… you do?"

Anton leaned forward and kissed away the tear. He whispered into his ear. "I only want to be with you. I've never been happier than when I am with you. You're mine."

Larrikin's breath hitched in his throat. "You have no idea how much this moment means to me. You have no idea how happy you've made me."

"If you let me, I will spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I…" He paused. "How much I love you."

Larrikin pulled away slightly so he could look Anton in the eyes. "You… _love_ me?"

"Yes. It's okay if you don't feel the same–"

"I love you too." Larrikin said in a rush before bringing his lips to meet Anton's. This time he kissed him properly.

Anton smiled against Larrikin's lips. He knotted his hands in the back of the blonde man's hair and pulled him closer. Their lips never parted for long, their tongues eager to taste each other's mouths. Anton lay down and pulled Larrikin on top of him.

Larrikin looked at him, questioningly. "You're letting _me_ take the lead?"

"You're more than capable."

Larrikin smiled. He was going to enjoy this. Straddling Anton's hips, he bowed his head to kiss him again, his fingers unbuttoning his shirt. He kissed Anton's smooth chest and trailed the kisses down his toned torso. He pulled down Anton's trousers, tugging down his boxers too with his teeth, and his mouth descended upon Anton again, making the dark-haired mage gasp.

. . . . . . . . . .

Anton jerked and shuddered, letting out a low growl. Larrikin pulled away, wiping his mouth, and looked up at Anton.

"_That_ was amazing." Anton panted.

"I aim to please."

"Indeed, however, now, it's my turn."

"There's more?"

Anton pulled Larrikin over so he was lying next to him. "Like you wouldn't even _imagine_."

. . . . . . . . . . .

Larrikin lay curled into Anton's side, the sleeping bag opened up fully and draped over them like a blanket. They had made love – _amazingly_ – and for the first time, Anton hadn't shooed him away straight afterwards. Instead they were here, curled up together, talking to each other in soft murmurs. Larrikin had his head rested on Anton's chest, Anton running his fingers through the other mage's soft hair.

The sound of a siren wailing cut straight through their perfect moment. Neither of them thought about what to do next. They went into army mode. Each of them pulled their uniforms back on in a matter of seconds, and was barrelling out of the tent ready to fight.

Outside, in the base camp, Skulduggery, Ghastly, Dex, and Erskine stood, waiting in a fighting stance. None of them even looked back at the two men running out of the same tent. Everyone was focused on the two men standing before them.

Nefarian Serpine. Behind him stood a weedy, unimpressive man – Elijah Lone – a teleporter on Nefarian's side.

"Serpine." Hissed Skulduggery. "What are you doing here? Are you _really _stupid enough to try and fight us all on your own?"

"I'm not here to fight you, _Pleasant!" _Serpine spat. "I've been sent to warn you."

"Warn us about what?"

Serpine grinned. "Why _tell_ you when I can _show_ you?" He held up his newly acquired right red hand and aimed it at Dexter Vex. A stream of purple energy flew out of his finger tips and launched at Dex.

"NO!" Roared Larrikin, unable to stand and watch his friend get killed. He ran and threw himself in the way, shoving Dex out of the line of fire, the purple tendrils hitting him instead.

"LARRIKIN, NO!" Anton yelled after him, but it was too late.

Larrikin was writhing and screaming in agony on the ground. Skulduggery dived for Serpine, but he had hold of Elijah – the teleporter – they were both already gone.

Anton ran to Larrikin, kneeling beside him. "Larrikin, you _idiot!"_ He tried to shout it, but his voice was strained.

Larrikin let out a low moan of pain. "I couldn't let Dex die."

"What about you? What about whether _you_ die?"

"Maybe this was how it was meant to be."

Anton suddenly softened. "No." He whispered, pulling Larrikin's head onto his lap, not caring that the other guys where looking at them. "No, don't be silly."

"I'm dying, Anton." He croaked.

"No. You're. Not." He said, fiercely. "You're not leaving me, Larrikin. We can fix you, we can... we can..." A tear rolled down his cheek and he brushed it away angrily.

"Don't cry." Whispered Larrikin. "Don't be sad. I'm not leaving you, not really." He reached up a hand and touched Anton's chest. "I'll always be here – where it counts."

"Larrikin..." Dexter croaked, desperately biting back his own tears. "You... you shouldn't have..."

Skulduggery put a hand on Dex's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "Come on." He said softly. "Let's get you out of here." He led the man away, where he wouldn't have to watch his friend die – the one who had died to save him.

Anton closed his hand around Larrikin's and bowed his head so their foreheads were touching. "Please." He begged. "Please don't leave me. I can't _be_ here without you."

"I don't know how to stay." Larrikin trembled, finally letting his tears fall.

Anton couldn't help the onslaught of fresh tears either. "I love you so much, Larrikin."

"I love you too, Anton. Never forget me."

"I'll never forget." He promised. "I'll _never_ forget."

Larrikin reached his hand up to Anton's face, and pulled him down for a soft, tender kiss. When he opened his eyes and pulled away, Larrikin had already left him.

"NO!" Anton cried. "NO! NO! LARRIKIN! LARRIKIN, COME BACK TO ME! PLEASE! PLEASE, I'M NOTHING WITH OUT YOU! _LARRIKIN!"_

Ghastly and Erskine gave each other a look and a nod, both seeming to understand what to do next. Erskine came behind Anton and pulled him away from Larrikin's dead body. Ghastly kneeled beside Larrikin's limp form scooped him up gently, and carried him away.

"No." Anton croaked, weakly. "Don't take him away." More tears rolled down his cheeks.

Erskine was shocked at seeing the usually-so-composed-Anton completely break down in front of him. At first he didn't know what to do. Anton's _wasn't_ a hugger. But perhaps this would be the one exception.

"Mate..." Erskine said, softly. "Anton... jeeze, Anton, come here." He pulled the other man into a hug. "I'm so sorry this has happened."

Anton melted into the hug, finding comfort in knowing that someone else, apart from the dead man he loved, actually cared about him. "Me too." He whispered.

**Sorry it was so long! And sad! But I hope you liked it all the same :)**

**Vilequesse up next!**

**Thank you again Evangeline :)**

**Laters Taters :)**

**xoxo**


	5. Vilequesse: Shadow Play

**I can't remember who it was that asked for a little Vilequesse, but whoever you are, you all rock :)**

**This is quite long - sorry!**

**Remember the age limit before you read, Little Sparrows, that's all I'm saying :)**

**Enjoy!**

Darquesse smiled a dark little smile as she felt the man's presence behind her. Well, was he even a man anymore? When he didn't wear the armour, no, he was just a skeleton. But when the armour went on something changed. It was something about his new source of power – his _black magic_, she grinned blithely at the thought – that gave him enough power to bring his own body back to him. After all, it was necromancy that caused his death. It was a necromancer who had held his fate in his hands. And now that he had the upper hand, why not use the new, dark, power, to give himself a little… _boost_?

Besides, once he took the armour off, he was plain old Skulduggery again – bones and all.

"I know you're there." Darquesse said, softly. "You can't creep up on me Vile." She turned and smiled at him, mock-curtsying. "It's been too long, My Dark Lord."

Vile said nothing. He _never_ said anything. He merely stepped forward, ready to fight.

She licked her lips in anticipation. "You're a good sparring partner, you know. I enjoy fighting with you, but a girl can't help but be… _curious_. You make yourself a human body when you're in there, don't you? The old body that you used to wear when you were living. Why, Vile? Why do you do that? What's the point? Sentiment? Just because you can?" She gave him a darkly flirtatious smile. "Or do you have ulterior motives?"

He merely stepped forward again, black tendrils thrashing around wildly behind him.

She sighed. "Must you play hard to get? I've admitted it to you, Vile, I actually quite _like_ you. You… amuse me."

Vile said nothing.

Darquesse rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "Fine. Have it your way. _Typical_ male ego."

Vile thrust his arms out towards her, his shadows not hesitating to follow his command and they lunged at Darquesse. She simply laughed and jumped high into the air, somersaulting away from them.

"What kind of attack was that, Vile?" She laughed. "Are you going soft?"

She thought she heard the faintest of growls emanate from somewhere begin his helmet as he ran, lunging for her again. She jumped again, shooting high into the air and hovered there, smiling down at him.

"If you want me, you have to come and get me first." She winked at him, and was gone, in the blink of an eye, flying away at a terrifying speed.

Vile shot after her, quick as a lightning bolt. He closed the gap between them easily, and determined to not let the girl make a fool of him again, he knew he couldn't let her get away. He reached out a hand and snagged her ankle, latching onto her.

She yelped in surprised, her cry turning into a scream as Vile threw her. She was suddenly tumbling down, back to the ground again. She hit the concrete with a sickening crack. Sighing, she healed herself, but before she had time to move, Vile came crashing down on top of her, knocking the breath out of her lungs.

He pinned her down. Darquesse looked up at him and grinned. He'd lost his helmet somewhere along the way and the face that glared down at her, contorted with hatred was… breath-taking. There he was, dark magic giving him his old body back. He had high cheekbones, and a sharp, square jawline. His skin was smooth, young, not aged in the slightest – he looked like he could be in his mid-twenties. His eyes, although glowering at her, were naturally soft, emerald green, twinkling in the moonlight, rimmed with thick, long eyelashes. Despite his masculine jaw, there was something soft and sensual about the curve of his lips – pale pink, seductive, and undoubtedly kissable. He was leaning so far over her his shaggy, rough, ebony-black hair was tickling her forehead.

"What are you going to do, Vile?" She asked him, her tone smooth and silky. "Kill me… or kiss me? We both know you can only do one."

He snarled at her, flashing a glimpse of his perfect white teeth. "Shut up." He hissed in his velvety tone, actually speaking to her for the first time.

"He speaks!" Darquesse cried, mockingly. "He finally puts those lovely lips to good use. Although... I think they could be put to even _better_ use."

His grip around her wrist tightened. "I'm here to _kill_ you, Darquesse. Not play games."

She easily broke one hand free of his grip. She trailed her finger across his lower lip. "Oh, come on. Not just one little kiss? As a last request? Pretty please?"

He did nothing. He stayed perfectly still, not yielding under her seductive touch. She sighed, put her free hand around the back of his neck, and pulled his face down to hers. The moment their lips touched, every single one of Vile's defences melted away. He gave himself over to her completely and Darquesse smiled against his lips.

Neither of them was gentle about it. They _devoured _each other. Vile's tongue sought hers out and traced the insides of her mouth. Darquesse bit down hard on his bottom lip, hungry for him, drawing blood. He was still pinning her down, dominantly, but she was determined to change all that. She growled and shoved him away. Both rolled and came up on their feet.

They stood, looking at each other, panting heavily. Suddenly Darquesse was running at Vile. She flung herself into is arms, and their lips crushed together again. She pulled away and looked at him.

She pointed at his armour. "Off." She demanded." I want it _off_. How does this work?"

"I have to still be wearing at least one piece of armour to still have my human body. Once it's all off, I'm Skulduggery again."

She grinned at him. "And we don't want that."

She put her hands on his breast plate and ripped it away from him, beginning to snatch away other pieces of armour too. Vile did the same to her, ripping away her clothes. To anyone else, it would have looked like they were locked in an epic battle.

Apart from their underwear and the roman-like metallic cuffs around Vile's wrists, they were wearing nothing else. Out in the open where anyone could see them. But it was dark and deserted, and it's not like they even cared if they got caught.

Vile sent the shadows out at her, pushing her back against a shop wall, keeping her there. He sauntered over to her, slowly, commanding the shadows to ravish her until he got there. The dark shadows curled around her body, slithering up her sides, running through her hair, seductively, making her shiver with delight.

One black tendril snaked its way down her neck, over her collar bone, down her middle, continuing to travel lower and lower, past the lacy black fabric of her underwear… and she gasped, a new sensation filling her senses.

Vile smiled and teasingly pulled the shadows away back to him, watching with satisfaction as she practically slumped against the wall. He stepped up to her and pressed against her, pinning her to the wall, and his lips went straight to her neck. She ran her hands through his hair, soft like satin against her skin, pulling him closer.

He ran his hands up her sides, ripping her bra from her, leaving it in tatters on the ground, his hands cupping where it had once been, his fingers caressing her skin. She ripped away his boxers, him ripping away her lacy black underwear in return, and he pressed against her. He used the shadows to pin her against the wall while he explored every inch of her body with his hands and his lips.

"_Enough_!" She growled, her tone a mixture of lust and impatience. "Take me. _Now_."

He simply laughed, darkly, and moved himself into her, smiling at the gasp that hissed through her lips.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Valkyrie's eyes fluttered open and she sighed happily. She wasn't quite sure _why_ she was happy, she just _was_. She felt relaxed, calm... satisfied? She frowned. But where _was_ she? She propped herself up onto her elbows and looked around her. She was in a... shop? She sat up straight and smacked her head against something.

"_The fuck?" _She hissed.

She scooted out from whatever she was laying under and stood up, looking at the large black object.

"A _piano_?" She murmured to herself. "I fell asleep in the music shop... under a _piano_?"

She felt a cold breeze ripple across her skin and she noticed the smashed shop window letting in the cold night air. Had she done that? She looked down at herself and quickly realised she was naked.

"_Shit_!" She hissed. She pulled of the dust sheet from a nearby drum kit and wrapped it around herself.

There was a loud _thunk_ as Skulduggery sat up and smacked his skull against the piano.

"_Ow!_ What kind of buggery...?" Skulduggery stood up, standing on the other side of the piano. He too was naked, but as a skeleton, it wasn't really like he had a lot to be self conscious of.

Valkyrie threw him another nearby dust sheet and he tied it around himself like a toga. They both looked at each other for a while, the memories of the previous night rushing back to them.

"OH MY GOD!" Valkyrie screamed.

"Oh... _God_." Skulduggery muttered.

"OH MY GOD!" She screamed again, wrapping her dust sheet tighter around her.

"Oh, sweet baby Jesus." Skulduggery looked like he might topple over.

Valkyrie pointed a finger at him, accusingly. "You... you... you _defiled_ me!"

Skulduggery looked at her. "I did _what_ to you?"

"You _seduced_ me!"

"_What?"_

"Oh, God, I can't believe you let Lord Vile _bang_ me!"

Skulduggery paused. "I... I... you think I had any _control_ over this? I didn't _ask_ Lord Vile to do you!"

"But it still happened!" She cringed. "Eww, this is so weird, we just had _sex_, Skulduggery!"

"_Evil_ sex, at that."

"DON'T REMIND ME!"

Skulduggery tilted his head at her. "Hey, wait a minute! You are just as much to blame here! From what _I_ remember, you _wanted_ Darquesse to jump me! This is all _your_ fault!"

"_My_ fault?" She hissed. "You're the one that... that... _you know_... with the shadows!"

"Oh yeah, because you _really_ sounded like you hated that."

"Is that what you're worried about?" She snapped. "That I didn't _enjoy_ myself?"

"Well you sure _seemed_ like you were having a good time from where I was standing!" He retorted.

"Where you were _laying_ actually, I was doing most of the work if memory serves!"

He snorted. "What? That is ludicrous! I was doing just as much work as you! The audio soundtrack you were coming out with is enough to prove my point!"

"Enough!"

"Well, you certainly weren't saying _that _last night." He grumbled.

Valkyrie glared at him. "At least I wasn't giving you death threats for in case you stopped!"

"That was _Vile_, not _me_!"

"And that was _Darquesse,_ not _me_!"

There was an awkward pause. Finally, Skulduggery visibly relaxed. "Okay, look, there is no point in arguing over this. We weren't even present for it – not really. We just have to accept what happened and move on. So what if our evil sides like each other?"

"Well they more than just _like_ each other." Valkyrie mumbled. "They _slept_ with each other. I don't know how to move on from this, Skulduggery."

"Well, it's not like we feel anything for each other when we're like this."

"Don't we?" She asked, walking over to him. "As much as we don't like to admit it, our evil sides aren't different people – they're us. Their feelings stem from our feelings. Is it possible, that somewhere deep inside of us, we actually feel something for each other, even if we don't know it yet?"

Skulduggery paused. "So what you're saying is... we need to find out if we like each other?"

"I guess so... yeah."

"How do we do that?"

Valkyrie thought for a few moments. An idea came to her and she looked up at Skulduggery. Without saying a word, she let the sheet she was clinging to her drop to the floor.

Skulduggery's jaw dropped – not literally – and he stared at her. "Whoa." He murmured.

Valkyrie walked over to him and pulled the sheet away from his body, pressing herself against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck – or rather, spinal column – and tiptoed up to press her lips against his teeth. She smiled to herself when she felt his arms wrap around her bare waist.

She pulled away and looked at him. "Did you like _that_?"

He titled his head in that way that let her know she was smiling. "Oh, yes."

She grinned and pulled his teeth back to her lips. It wasn't long before they ended up back underneath the piano.

**I hope you all liked it :)**

**Next up how about a little Skulduggery/Tanith?**

**Just so you know, these are all the pairings I've got written down. If you can't see one that you want, feel free to add to the list:**

**Ryan/Val**

**China/Ghastly**

**Tanith/Val**

**Batu/Rose**

**Val/Sanguine**

**Skul/China**

**Ghastly/Tanith**

**Springheeled Jack/Tanith**

**Scapegrace/Clarabelle**

**China/Sanguine**

**Val/Skul**

**China/Eliza**

**China/Tanith**

**Skul/Ghastly**

**Dusk/Sanguine**

**Skul/Vex - oddly looking forward to this one?**

**Ghastly/Fletcher**

**Val/China**

**Anything else you want to add? Just let me know :)**

**Like I said, Skulduggery/Tanith up next :D**

**Update soon!**

**xoxo**


	6. Tanduggery: The Ship Of Dreams

**A bit of Tanduggery coming your way!**

**This was suggested by Israelle ParadiseIsis Hypnosis, so we all thank you very much :)**

**A Titanic-related fic, since it's currently all so relevent!**

**P.s. Sorry it's so long!**

**Enjoy!**

_The titanic was called the ship of dreams and it was beautiful..._

Skulduggery checked his disguise was in place before he left his cabin. Sleek black wig to hide his gleaming skull, hat pulled down low over his eyes to hide his eye sockets, a thick black scarf around his jaw line to hide his forever grinning teeth. He was ready.

He left the cabin and strolled along the first class corridors, nodding at friends as he passed. Lady Baxter, Sir Hanson, Mr and Mrs Wesley and their darling children. He made his way up to the boat deck where he was late to meet with his _real_ friends though.

He spotted them immediately, the group of four extraordinary men in finely tailored suits – not as fine as his dark blue pin-striped one – stood on the deck, smoking cigars and laughing merrily. The Dead Men.

"Starting the party without me, gentleman?" Skulduggery asked as he joined them.

"Well, if you got here on time." Ghastly laughed, clamping a hand down on his friend's shoulder. "What kept you, friend?"

"I was up late last night. I escorted Miss Low to the dance in the Ballroom."

"Oh, did you know?" Erskine grinned at him. "And what happened afterwards, pray tell? A little..." He made kissy-faces at Skulduggery.

Skulduggery laughed. "You're making a fool of yourself, Ravel. And I couldn't even do that if I wanted. One needs lips for kissing."

Dex rolled his eyes. "You're behaving like a teenage girl. Man up and make a move."

"She doesn't even know I'm a skeleton yet." Skulduggery laughed. "She was a little more than surprised when I showed up to escort her to the dance last night wearing my disguise, scarf and all!"

Anton smiled slightly. "Speak of the devil, here she comes..."

A beautiful blonde lady strolled past them in a dark blue, ruffled, corset dress. Her blonde ringlets tumbled over her shoulders and fell to halfway down her back. Her dark eyes sparkled and her cheeks glowed against her pale skin. She was holding a matching blue parasol that rested against her shoulder.

"Hello, boys." She said as she passed, her gazed lingering on each of the men briefly, but Skulduggery a little longer.

"Boys?" Erskine echoed once she was out of earshot.

Anton arched an eyebrow at him, teasingly. "Well, you act like one."

"Hush, Shudder, you don't know what you're saying."

"But torturing you is so much fun!"

Skulduggery was still staring after Miss Low. "I'll catch up with you later, gentleman."

"You're leaving us?" Ghastly asked. "For a woman's company?"

"Shock horror! Dex teased.

Skulduggery ignored them and walked off, catching up with the pretty blonde lady. "Miss Low!"

She turned and smiled at him. "Mr Pleasant, how many times must I ask you to call me Tanith?"

"Only if you'll agree to call me Skulduggery."

She smiled. "As you wish. So, _Skulduggery_, you decided to leave your band of boyish banter to talk to me? I'm so flattered!" She winked at him.

"I think I quite prefer your company, Miss Lo–" He stopped himself." I mean... _Tanith_."

"Why's that?" She asked" I like them. "Especially the one with all the scars. He seems interesting."

Skulduggery's shoulders sagged slightly. "You would rather spend your time with Ghastly?"

"Now, now, Skulduggery. No need to be jealous. You are, after all, escorting me to dinner tonight, aren't you?"

He looked at her. "I am?"

"Well, aren't you? You haven't actually asked me yet, I know, but I think you should soon; otherwise I will be forced to ask another. Perhaps one of your friends?"

Skulduggery laughed. "Well then, I suppose I should ask you. Tanith, would you accompany me to dinner tonight."

She smiled at him. "Why, Skulduggery, I would be delighted."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Skulduggery walked Tanith back to her first class cabin, linked arms with her the whole way. She looked ravishing in her blood red dress and he had to admit that, even with his scarf and hat on, he looked dashing in his black tuxedo.

"Thank you for dinner." Tanith said to him at her door. "It was lovely."

"It was my pleasure." He nodded at her, wishing he could give her a departing kiss on the cheek. "Sleep well."

He went to leave, but she stopped him. "Skulduggery?"

He turned back to her. "Yes?"

"Is… is there something wrong with me?"

He tilted his head at her. "Of course not, why would you ask such a thing?"

"Well, if I am to be so bold, Skulduggery, you have not even kissed me goodbye."

He hesitated. "I… I don't think it's a good idea."

"Do I not interest you in that way?"

"No, I find you _very_ interesting."

"Then why won't you open up to me? I haven't even seen your face yet. I don't know the colour of your eyes, the curve of your smile."

Skulduggery sighed. "Trust me; you don't want to see what I look like under here."

"Of course I do."

"You don't. You'll run scared like all the rest."

She smiled at him, kindly. "Of course I won't. Just let me see."

He sighed again. "Very well." He took of his disguise, one item by one. First the hat, then the wig, then the scarf. He looked at Tanith's face for approval, but when he saw her horrified expression his shoulders sagged. "Don't scream." He mumbled. "I'll walk away now." He turned and walked away.

When he was halfway down the corridor she called after him. "Skulduggery, wait!"

He turned to look at her but didn't say anything.

She caught up to him and tried not to stare into his big empty eye sockets. "You can't leave yet."

"Why not?"

"You…" She bit her lip, nervously. "You never kissed me goodnight."

He wished he had eyebrows that he could raise. Slowly he bowed his head to hers and touched his teeth gently to her cheek. When he went to pull away, she put her hand on his jaw and pulled him back to her.

"A _proper_ kiss." She said.

"I… I can't. I don't know how to anymore."

"You're a detective, aren't you? Figure it out."

She tiptoed up and softly pressed her lips to his teeth. It didn't feel… normal, but it didn't feel bad either. It was definitely odd kissing cold, smooth, unyielding bone, but there was a still a spark of excitement that made her nerve endings tingle, and she realised she was enjoying the weirdness of the kiss. She was doing most of the work, but wasn't that how she liked it anyway?

Her hands rested on his torso and curled into the fabric of his expensive shirt. Skulduggery remained ever the gentleman and placed his hands on her shoulders, even though they longed to rest in a more seductive place, mainly her waist or her hips.

Tanith pulled away and whispered next to where his ear should be. "Come inside with me. Come to my room."

He stiffened a little at her suggestion. "Tanith… I… I don't know if I could do that."

"Of course you can. I'm _inviting_ you."

"No," he shook his head, "that's not what I meant. I meant… I can't… well, I can't really… uh…"

She smiled at him. "We'll figure something out."

Just as she tiptoed up to kiss him again, the entire corridor shook violently and Skulduggery had to clutch onto Tanith so that she didn't topple over.

She looked up at him, panicked. "What was that?"

"I don't know, but it can't be good."

"I'm going to find out." She suddenly said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He said grabbing onto her arm. "Don't you think that it would be best to leave the detecting to the detective? Besides, it's a lot harder to kill a living skeleton that a human being–"

"I'm an English Sanctuary agent." She interrupted. "I know about magic and mages, I'm a sorcerer. I can only guess you are too because of the whole skeleton thing, so that's why I trust you with this."

He paused. "I thought you took the whole living skeleton thing a little too calmly." He nodded, putting his disguise back on. "Right then. Let's go."

He took her hand in his and they began to run down the corridor. They made it all the way up to the boat deck where people were running around panicking. Skulduggery spotted the other Dead Men and pulled Tanith over to them. She bumped into Ghastly and they muttered awkward apologies to each other.

"What's going on?" Skulduggery asked.

"Iceberg." Dex said. "Scraped the side of the ship."

"Well, are we okay?" Asked Tanith. "Is there any dangerous damage?"

Anton shrugged. "I spoke to the Captain and he said not… but…" He sighed. "I don't know, he seemed worried. Like he didn't believe his own words."

Erskine nodded. "He's got the entire crew running around telling people to put on their life jackets, saying they're running a safety drill."

"All a bit convenient if you ask me." Muttered Ghastly.

The whole ship suddenly shuddered and groaned again. Tanith clung to Skulduggery and Ghastly put a hand under her elbow to support her.

"What was that?" She hissed, looking up at Skulduggery.

"The engines have stopped." He said, quietly. "Why have they stopped the engines? Why would they want us to just drift?"

"What if there _was_ damage?" Erskine said. "What if there was a tear in the ship? They wouldn't want to continue going full speed ahead – that would only flood the ship faster."

All of them shared a gloomy look of acceptance at the idea. A voice cut through them.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Called out one of the crew members. "We have stopped the ship's engines so that we can practice a safety drill in the unlikely event of the ship sinking. So can you all please quickly retrieve your life jackets from your cabins and return here so we can start loading you into the life boats. Thank you."

"Well," Anton sighed, "If you ever needed hard evidence, there it is. They're trying to trick people into the lifeboats to save them."

"But there are not enough lifeboats for everyone on board." Tanith's eyes widened. "So many people will die."

"I'm going to the bowels of the ship." Skulduggery said. "If it really _is_ flooding down there, I want to be sure of it before I go doing anything rash."

He went to leave but Tanith stopped him. "I'm coming with you."

He laughed, humourlessly. "No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Stay here and make friends."

"I am not a child, Skulduggery. You do not order me around."

Skulduggery sighed and pushed Tanith backwards into Ghastly's arms. "Here." He said. "Ghastly is your new best friend." He looked over her head, directly at Ghastly. "First best friend duty: Keep her safe." And with that he turned and marched away, Tanith screaming obscenities after him in a very un-lady-like way.

Skulduggery made his way down the ship, passing first class, second class, third class, storage, finally meeting the boiler rooms. He shoved anyone aside who tried to stop him. Everything seemed fine down there until he reached boiler room six where people were panicking. He looked down at the floor and saw water trickling in fast from underneath the door that lead to boiler room five.

"IT'S FULL NEXT DOOR!" One man yelled over the all the chaos. "THIS WALL CAN'T HOLD IT FOR MUCH LONGER! IT'S GOING TO BLOW!"

There was a horrible groaning as the metal wall separating boiler room five and six bulged in sections where the sea water on the other side strained against it.

"GET OUT!" Skulduggery yelled to them. "IT'S GOING TO BLOW! YOU'LL ALL DIE! GET OUT NOW!"

They all looked at him, torn. "WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE OUR POSTS!" One man yelled.

"IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL ALL DROWN! THE PLACE IS FLODDING! THE TITANIC IS _SINKING_!"

"THIS SHIP IS UNSINKABLE!"

Skulduggery sighed and got out his gun. "ALL OF YOU GET OUT NOW AND SAVE YOURSELVES OR I'LL SHOOT YOU AND YOU'LL DIE ANYWAY. DON'T YOU GET IT? IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"

"WE CAN'T LET IT SINK!" The man shouted.

"IT'S GOING TO SINK ANYWAY!" Skulduggery yelled back. Finally the men started to file out, Skulduggery leading the way back to safety. "WIND DOWN ALL THE MECHANICAL DOORS ON YOUR WAY THROUGH – WE NEED TO HOLD THE FLOODING OFF FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!"

Skulduggery left them securing the mechanical barriers and made his way back up to the boat deck. The moment Tanith saw him she ran and smashed into his open arms, burying her face into his chest.

"You were gone so long." She said in a small voice.

"I was helping the men in the boiler room escape."

Ghastly looked up from Tanith to Skulduggery. "Escape from what?"

"Flooding." He replied in a grim tone. "It's flooding down there. The Titanic is going to sink within the next hour or so."

They all stared at him. Finally Anton said. "Well... we'd better get a move on then."

There was a horrible groaning noise and the Titanic lurched, the nose suddenly dipping lover into the water, putting the whole ship at an odd angle.

"And it begins." Erskine muttered.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"EVERYONE PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT YOUR LIFE JACKETS ON!" One of the crewmen who was organising the lifeboats called out. "WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN THE BOATS FIRST, PLEASE! WOMEN AND CHILDREN _ONLY!"_

The boat deck was chaos. The nose of the Titanic was already underwater and the whole ship was slowly but surely tilting. Women and children from first class were being loaded into the life boats, crying, reaching out for their husbands and fathers who just had to put on a brave smile for their families sake and tell them they'd get on a different boat later.

People were running around the deck, screaming, shoving people out of their way. Some had gathered together to pray for their immortal souls to be saved. Other brave men had dressed in their finest and were prepare to go down as gentlemen. The four-part orchestra played on, bravely, no intention of saving their own lives.

Tanith, Skulduggery and the other Dead Men had caught wind of what was happening down in the rear of the boat's compartments – that was slowing rising from the water more and more – that the lower class passengers had been locked down there to die and had made it their duty to go and rescue them. Skulduggery threatened to shoot anyone who got in his way. He let the passengers out and led them up to the boat deck.

They all assembled back on the deck, near the rear that was being lifted out of the water, Skulduggery, Tanith, Anton, Erskine, Ghastly, and Dex. People ran past them, seeking the end of the ship, where they would be temporarily safe from the icy water.

"It's only a matter of time now." Skulduggery said. "We've gotten everyone out that we can. Now we just have to…" He trailed off.

"Wait." Ghastly finished for him. "Until it's all over."

"I think we have about half an hour left." Dex said. "The front half of the ship is practically submerged."

"Hey." Erskine said to them all. "Enough with the glum faces. We're not any ordinary mortals – we're _sorcerers_. We are the _Dead men_! We will survive this! We always get out of sticky situations like this! We can do this! By _God_ I will _not_ go down with this blasted ship!"

Anton sighed and cupped Erskine's jaw with his hand. "It's that kind of talk that makes me realise how much I love you." He pulled the man into a gentle kiss. Everyone else around them was too busy panicking to stop and stare and verbally abuse the two men for their public display of affection.

When he pulled away, Erskine whispered back. "I love you too."

Tanith was slightly shocked. She looked at the faces of the other Dead Men who didn't look in the least bit surprised. "You all know about this?" She asked.

Skulduggery shrugged. "Stranger things have happened in wartime."

Tanith gave a nod that said _fair enough_, and said, "So, what do we do now?"

Skulduggery put his hands on Tanith's shoulders and tilted his head at her in his way of letting her know he was smiling. "You, my dear, are going to go and get yourself in a lifeboat before they are all gone."

"_What?"_ She frowned at him. "No! _NO!_ I'm not leaving without you!"

He laughed but it was not a happy sound. "Oh yes, you are."

"No I am not!"

"Oh, I think you'll find you are."

"You can't tell me what to do, Skulduggery."

"This isn't negotiable, Tanith. That is one of the last lifeboats and you are getting on it."

She stepped up closer to him, bringing her face closer to his. "Not without you."

He clenched his jaw, frustrated. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her away from the other Dead Men so he could talk to her alone. He pulled her into a secluded corned and clutched onto her shoulders.

"I'm not leaving you here to you death." She said before he could say anything.

"Tanith," he hissed, "I'm a skeleton! I can't die again!"

"And what about your friends?"

"I'm not going to let them get hurt, but right now, I'm trying to save _you_."

"It's not up to you to save me."

"I care about you, so yes it is!" he snapped at her, gripping onto her tighter.

"Ow! Skulduggery, stop it! You're hurting me!"

He loosened his grip on her in an instant. His voice took on a much gentler, pleading tone. "Tanith, please. You are my top priority now. If anything happened to you… I don't know what I'd do. Please, I can't stand to see you hurt."

Tears brimmed in her eyes. "And I couldn't live with myself knowing I left you behind."

He cupped her face in his hands, his gloved thumbs brushing away her tears. "Please, Tanith?" He whispered. "If it's the last thing you'll ever do for me, please get on that boat."

"What if I never see you again?" She whispered back.

"Of course you will! Of course I'll find you again!"

"When the ship docked I wanted to get off with you. I didn't want to have to say goodbye."

He tilted his head and sighed sadly. "It's not goodbye. It's see you soon. I promise, okay?"

She sighed and folded herself into his arms. "Okay."

He held her close and kissed her hair with his teeth. "Come on." Let's get you into the lifeboat before it fills up." He took her over to the lifeboat, pushing past the crowd. "I have a woman here who needs to get on board the lifeboat!"

The crewman organising people into the boat turned to him and gave him a brief, strained smile. He took Tanith's hand and led her towards the boat. She was reluctant to let go of Skulduggery's hand.

"No!" She cried when Skulduggery's hand tugged out of hers. The man dragged her into the lifeboat kicking and screaming. She was seated next to other woman and children who were holding onto her, trying to keep her in her seat.

"Goodbye, Tanith." He said, sadly.

"NO! SKULDUGGERY, NO!"

"LOWER THE LIFEBOAT!" The crewman called and the lifeboat started to be slowly lowered into the freezing water below.

"NO!" Tanith screamed. "SKULDUGGERY!"

Skulduggery stood at the ever-slanting-downwards railings and watched her go, flinching every time she screamed his name.

Someone stepped up behind him and put a strong, gentle hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Skul. We need to make our escape out of here before we all go down."

Skulduggery turned and looked at Ghastly. He put on a strong tone. "Of course. Let's go." He looked back at Tanith's lifeboat that was being rowed away from the ship. "Let's go."

**Again, soooo sorry it's so long! :$**

**Thanks again** **Israelle ParadiseIsis Hypnosis - you star! :)**

**I'll update soon with a bit of China/Tanith :)**

**xoxo**


	7. Chinith: Give Me Something To Live For

**Hello Little Sparrows!**

**Here's some Chinith, as promised :) This was requested by the lovely darkntwisted13 - so thank you very much :)**

**Warning: Some sensitive topics covered in this update.**

**Enjoy reading!**

Tanith Low strolled through the library aisles. She was searching for a book on curses and counter curses for this case she was helping Skulduggery and the Irish Sanctuary work on. It felt good to be back in Ireland – she'd spent far too long in England. Sure it was her hometown, and she loved it, but there was something about Ireland that just kept drawing her back in.

She saw China at the other end of the aisle and rolled her eyes at the beautiful woman in distain. Oh, yes, China Sorrows. Devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful, but cruel hearted and wickedly temperamental at the best of times. She half expected China to charge at her, hurling insults, insisting she pick a book and get out of _her_ library as fast as possible, but alas, this was not the case.

I fact, China didn't even seem to notice her. She hurried past Tanith, her head down, arms wrapped around herself, hugging her elbows. Tanith even though she heard a faint whimper come from her as she passed.

Tanith arched an eyebrow. Well… that was odd. Although every stubborn part of her demanded that she turned an uncaring blind eye at the other woman, and continue the search for her book, the most compassionate part of her heart wouldn't stop niggling away at her, and so Tanith _had_ to follow China.

She knocked on China's office door. "Um… China? Can I come in?"

"Just take your book and go!" China snapped from the other side, her voice harsh but trembling on the last word.

Tanith shifted from one foot to another uncomfortably. "Um… I'd rather come in? I wanted to talk to you."

"Well, _I_ don't want to talk to _you_."

"Please? Just for a little while?"

"No! Go away!"

Tanith sighed, halfway between frustration and defeat. "Okay whatever. I hope you're decent because I'm coming in."

Tanith hesitated only a moment before forcing the door open and letting herself inside. She shut the door behind her and looked up at China who was sitting at her desk. China met Tanith's eyes, warily, and Tanith noticed how blood-shot and puffy they were. Her face was pale and gaunt, her thin lips set in a grimace. She wore no trace of makeup, and her hair was piled up on top of her head in a scruffy-bun. Her clothes were less than fabulous.

"Oh my God…" Tanith looked at the frail woman, concerned. "China, are you okay?"

"I don't need your pity." China snapped. "Take your damn book and leave me in peace."

"I'm hardly going to leave you with the state you're in. What happened?"

"Nothing. Go away."

"You know," Tanith said, walking over to where China was sitting, "you keep saying that, yet here I still stand."

China scowled at her. "So? What's your point?"

"My point is, if you really wanted me to leave, you would have blasted me out of the door by now, but you haven't. Therefore, I can only assume that secretly you want me to stay."

"Not necessarily. How do you know I just didn't want to offer you one last cup of tea before I oft you?" China tried a sarcastic smile.

"Look, you can carry on with the snarky remarks and the catty looks, but we both know the truth. You're upset about something. You look a mess. You've quite obviously been crying about something. So let's not beat around the bush here, okay? You need someone to talk to, and I'm feeling like playing the Good Samaritan, so why not give it a go?"

"I don't need anyone." China hissed. "Especially not a common, filthy, scandalous little tramp like you. So just _leave_."

Tanith's eyebrows shot up. She shook her head slowly, a scornful smile playing across her lips. "You know what, China? I was just trying to help. But if you don't want it then fine. Just sit here alone in you sad little office and cry your pathetic little tears to yourself." She turned to leave but stopped and looked back. "Even for you, that was a bitchy thing to say to me. I hope you sit here and grizzle your pretty little eyes out." And with that, she left.

The moment the door clicked shut behind her, she's heard China let out a cry of despair and Tanith noted – a little smugly – that her plan had worked. She re-entered the office once more and was shocked to see China slumped over the desk with her head in her hands, tears actually pooling onto the wood beneath her.

"You want to be careful with getting that desk so wet." Tanith said softly as she walked over to Tanith and sat on the edge of the counter. "That is mahogany."

China looked up at Tanith, incredulously for a few moments before a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips, and he let out a single, strangled laugh.

Tanith hesitated before making her next more, but she took a deep breath and extended her hand to China's shoulder. "You want to talk about it?"

China sat back, pushing her hair off her face, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands. "Oh, I wouldn't know what to say." She sighed. "I'm not good at girl talk."

"Neither am I, so this should be fun."

China gave another half-laugh. "I wouldn't know where to start."

"I find the beginning is always a fairly reasonable place."

"You're really quite annoying."

"I'm trying to cheer you up."

"It's not working."

"You're laughing inwardly, I can tell." She pulled on a softer tone. "Now come on. Tell me what's wrong."

China sighed heavily and paused for a few long moments. Finally she looked up at Tanith and said. "Do you ever feel like… like there isn't one single person on this Earth that loves you?"

"China, _everyone _loves you."

"Not really though, do they? They don't care about me."

"Do you care about them?"

"Some of them." China bit her lip. "I care about Skulduggery and the other Dead Men. I care about that tailor fellow and Kenspeckle Grouse."

Tanith arched an eyebrow at the other woman. "Yeah, but do you ever tell them that?"

"No, of course not, don't be absurd."

"Well you have to show affection in order to get affection back, China. That's how human interaction works."

China groaned and slumped back in her chair. "But I can't! I physically can't! I can't show people how I feel – it's completely alien to me!"

Tanith frowned slightly. "What, did your parents raise you like a robot of something?"

China seemed to wince a little. She looked down at her lap before speaking. "My parent's didn't raise me. My father died when I was little and it sent my mother into a fit of depression. She married again to a brutish man who I hated. He used to go out and get drunk most nights. He'd come home reeking of alcohol and demanded sexual exploitation from her. When she wouldn't oblige he would beat her around until she agreed. It corrupted her – body _and_ mind. She had a nervous breakdown and was carted away to a mental asylum. Of course, that left me and my step-father alone in our dingy little apart with no one else. And without my mother to demand things from…" her voice hitched in her throat. Tears stared to stream down her cheeks again. "He would try and get them from me. When I wouldn't let him, he would take them anyway. I was too small, I couldn't fight back. It stayed that way until I turned sixteen and discovered magic, and had the good sense to leave." She looked up at Tanith. "I can't show anyone I care about them, because I don't know how to care for someone. When everyone who was supposed to be your loved ones in your life betrays you, you find it hard to learn to love others." She broke down into another hysterical belt of tears and looked away from Tanith, ashamed of her breakdown.

Tanith simply stared. What was she supposed to say to a story like that? There _wasn't_ anything you could say to a story like that. There was only one thing Tanith could do really, and so she stood up and walked around the other side of the desk to China. She pulled China to her feet, China straining weakly against her, and pulled her into a tight embrace. It took a few minutes for China to relax into the hug, and she was soon sobbing into Tanith's shoulder.

"I hate my life." She moaned, miserably. "Every memory of my childhood hangs over me, reminding me that if I even think of caring about someone that they are going to hurt me again. So I can't care about anyone, and they can't care about me." Her choked sobs became fiercer. "No one cares about me."

"Hey, hey, hey." Tanith soothed, stroking her hair. "Calm down. Now, that's not true is it? I know at least one person who cares about you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't would I?"

"I just want it all to end. I had plans for it all to end. I stole a syringe from Kenspeckle Grouse's store room. He fills them with a lethal heavy anaesthetic. On little vial of that liquid and things are ended for good. He uses it to put his patients that he can't save out of their misery. I was going to do that today, but then you came and found me, deciding to play the good guy and interrupted everything. I could be happily dead right now if it weren't for you."

Tanith pulled away, gripping China tightly by her shoulders. "_WHAT?_ You're kidding right? Tell me you're kidding?"

"I wish."

Tanith shook her head, speechless for a few moments. Finally she murmured, "You silly bitch. You can't _kill_ yourself!"

"Why not? No one would miss me."

"Yes they would!"

"They would miss my library. My _resources_. Not me."

"You can't just decide to go and kick the bucket, China, okay? You _can't_!"

"Oh yeah?" China laughed, scornfully. "Tell me why not. Give me a reason. Give me something to live for."

Tanith didn't even think about what she did next, she just did it. She put her hands either side of China's face and pulled her into a tender kiss. Oddly enough, China didn't struggle or pull away. Finally their lips parted and they stared into each other's eyes.

"Live for that." Tanith murmured. "Live because I care about you, China. Because I always have and I always will."

China looked at her, bewildered. "You… have?"

"Isn't it obvious? The catty remarks whenever I see you to try and throw you off the scent? The tight, revealing, leather clothes I purposely wear around you? The jealously in my tone whenever you have another one of your little puppets fall mercilessly in love with you? I like you, China, okay? I don't know why, I just do. Deal with it."

"You… _care_ about me?" China said slowly, digesting this.

"Yes, that's like the third time I've said it now."

China looked at Tanith and suddenly her actions were not so slow anymore. She put her hands around Tanith's waist and pulled her into a long, slow, deep kiss. Tanith responded by cupping China's face in her hands.

China pulled away and looked at Tanith. "You really should have told me this sooner."

Tanith shrugged. "We should girl talk more often."

China grinned and shrugged too, bringing her lips back to meet Tanith's.

**I hope you all liked it :)**

**Thanks again, darkntwisted13 - you star!**

**Next up, lets have some Skulduggery/Vex shall we? Awesome!**

**xoxo**


	8. Vexduggery: Comforting The Brave

**A bit of Vexduggery, as requested by Mademise Morte :)**

**Enjoy!**

Dexter Vex strolled through the Dead Men's campsite whistling a happy little tune to himself. The sun was shining, golden rays reflecting off his blonde hair, warming his ever-so-slightly tanned skin. His smile was so ridiculously big it made crinkles around his blue eyes. He had no idea why he was so happy – he just _was._

It was only as he was strolling past Skulduggery's tent, did his smile falter. He thought he heard something from inside – a stifled cry, a whimper, a sniffle? He paused, listened again, more closely. That time he _definitely _heard something. A... sob?

"Skulduggery?" Dex called, absolutely fazed. "Are… are you okay?"

"Fine." Skulduggery grumbled, but his voice sounded strained. "Go away."

"You sound upset."

"I'm fine, now leave me alone."

"Are you crying?"

"Dammit, Vex! _Piss off!_"

"Not a chance." He said. "I'm coming in."

Dex fumbled around with the tent's fabric and found his way inside the tent. He practically tripped inside but quickly regained his balance, his eyes focusing on Skulduggery. He instantly felt a sharp tug on his heartstrings. Skulduggery was sitting cross-legged on the floor, looking at a little letter in his hand from his wife. Tears dripped down his cheeks, splattering onto the paper, making the ink run.

Dex was taken aback. It was not an unusual thing to see a grown man cry during war, but this was _Skulduggery_. Skulduggery _never_ showed weakness. He was always the strong one for the rest of them – the 'big brother' almost.

"Skul…" Dex said softly. "What's happened?"

Skulduggery shook his head, ruffling his shaggy brown hair. "Nothing. It's nothing. I'm being stupid."

Dex shuffled forward, awkwardly. He didn't know whether or not Skulduggery was the kind of guy who liked to be comforted, so he decided to sit down opposite the other man. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Skulduggery said, still not looking up.

"It might help." Dex looked at him kindly.

Skulduggery sighed and finally looked up, his big brown eyes locking onto Dex's. "I can't take it anymore, Dex." He whispered. "I… I miss them."

Dex sighed and nodded in understanding. "I know. I know you do. We all do. We know how hard it is for you to be away from you wife and little girl. But there's no shame in crying over it. You're only human."

"I'm weak." Skulduggery grumbled.

"You're a great leader." Dex corrected. "But even the best of us have our bad days. Sometimes even the bravest of men need comforting."

Skulduggery smiled weakly. "Is that why you're here, Dex? To _comfort_ me?"

"I'm here because I'm your friend. And I have no idea why but it kills me to see you this upset."

"You're not obliged to sit here and watch me cry, friend or not."

"I'm not leaving you." Dex said, softly but determinedly. He reached out and put one hand on Skulduggery's shoulder. The gesture seemed far too forward and intimate and it made Skulduggery flinch. Dex sighed and ran his hand down Skulduggery's arm, their palms lightly brushing, and just as their fingertips were about to part, as Dex pulled away, Skulduggery quickly pulled the other man's hand back.

"Skulduggery…?" Dex inquired, confused.

"Don't leave me." Skulduggery whispered, stifling a fresh wave of tears that came over him. "Please, just… please don't go. Not yet."

Dex squeezed Skulduggery's hand reassuringly. "I promise I won't leave you. If it's the last thing I do, I will stay with you."

"Thank you."

"Think nothing of it." Dex leaned forward, as if to hug Skulduggery, but he suddenly drew back. However, much to his surprise, Skulduggery leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Dex. Dex hesitated for only a moment before pulling Skulduggery into a tight embrace. Skulduggery buried his face into Dex's shoulder, craving some sort of security, and cried helplessly.

Dex nuzzled his face into Skulduggery's hair, whispering comforts to him. He would hold Skulduggery like that for as long as his friend needed.

**I hope you liked it.**

**Next up, let's have some Tanith/Valkyrie :)**

**xoxo**


	9. Valith: Last Night Of Freedom

**Here we go, as requested by Linnup, Cranium Mischief, Dakotah Rowan, Raychaell Dionzeros, Alana Core, and probably a load others (sorry if your name wasn't mentioned) - have some Valith :)**

**Enjoy!  
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"Val?" Tanith called up the stairs. "Are you ready to go?"

Valkyrie rounded the top of the stairs and smiled down at her best friend. "How do I look?"

Tanith saw her friend and laughed. There she stood in a Moulin-Rouge inspired outfit that quite literally only consisted of strategically placed lacy fabric, feathers and sequins – a matching copy of what Tanith was wearing herself, both girls in pairs of black stilettos. Both had their hair in ringlets, their makeup consisting of smoky eyes and lusciously red lips.

"You look positively _tarty_, darling!" Tanith grinned. "Perfect for a Hen Night."

Valkyrie began to descend the staircase, meeting her friend at the bottom. "Yeah, well it's my last night as an unmarried woman, and I intend to have a good time."

"Not too good I hope." Said a velvety voice from behind them.

Valkyrie turned and saw her fiancé leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing his newly acquired 'all-over-facade', today's face having soft, brown hair and bright, blue eyes. He was dressed up in a 007 style suit, matching Ghastly's, and he was beaming at her.

Valkyrie walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Skulduggery responded by resting his hands on her hips and pulling her close.

"Don't worry." She assured him. "I'll behave as long as you do. God knows what Ghastly's got prepared for you."

Ghastly appeared in the door frame, walking into the room and embracing Tanith from behind. "It's his Stag Due, I'll do with him whatever I want."

The girls laughed and Skulduggery rolled his temporary eyes.

"Nice choice of words, Ghastly." He mumbled.

Ghastly nudged Tanith in the side. "Oi, you know what I meant! Tonight is his last night of freedom!"

Valkyrie and Tanith both arched an eyebrow and echoed. "Freedom?"

"He means, my last night before the best day of my life." Skulduggery stepped in.

"Yes." Ghastly nodded. "Yes, that's _exactly_ what I meant."

Valkyrie turned back to Skulduggery and grazed her lips across his. "Don't forget about me tonight while your off looking at lots of beautiful women."

Skulduggery tenderly pressed his lips to hers. "When I'm coming back home to you, what would be the point?"

Valkyrie grinned at him. "Good answer."

Tanith grabbed onto Valkyrie's hand and pulled her away from her fiancé. "Come on! We need to get going before all the _good_ strip clubs are full!"

"Very funny!" Skulduggery and Ghastly said in unison as the girls ran out of the front door.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Valkyrie and Tanith had been to every bar, every club and every pub in Ireland, all but one little backstreet club in Roarhaven. It was called Temptress, and it wasn't for the faint hearted. It was dark and dingy, the floors were sticky and the bathrooms were practically unusable. The bar staff were seedy and unhelpful, and the highlight of entertainment was a group of strippers called The SugarBells, but they were drunk – stinking drunk – and this was the only place left open.

"Barman!" Tanith Yelled as she and Valkyrie sat at the barstools. "Two of your finest cocktail, my good man!"

"Shh!" Valkyrie hushed her, giggling. "You're yelling!"

"So are you!"

Both girls looked at each other for a few moments before erupting into fits of laughter. Valkyrie laughed so much that she fell off her stool. "OOPS!"

Tanith looked down at her. "Hey, what'cha doin' down there?"

Valkyrie looked up at her, perplexed. "I… don't… know…"

A bouncer came over to them. "Excuse me, ladies?"

"Sorry, I'm taken." Tanith said.

"Yeah! Leave us alone! I'm getting married tomorrow!" Valkyrie yelled from where she was laying, face down on the floor.

"Ladies, I'm here to escort you off the premises."

Valkyrie sat up and looked at him. "What? Why?"

"Because you're too drunk to stay here."

"I resemble that remark!" Tanith yelled, pointing a finger in his face.

"Resent." The bouncer corrected her. "Now, please can you see yourself of the site, or else I'll be forced to call the police."

Tanith reached down and helped Valkyrie up. "Come on, we don't need this place."

"Yeah!" Valkyrie stumble to her feet. "We don't need you; we can have our own party at home!"

"Yeah!" Tanith joined in.

"I don't care where you go as long as it's not here." The bouncer said, evenly.

"Fine!" The girls yelled at him, marching out of the club.

Outside, the girls hailed a taxi and made their way home. They paid the driver, got out at Valkyrie's mansion and staggered inside the huge house. Upon reaching the living room, both girls fell and sprawled out on the sofa, laughing.

"Why are we laughing?" Valkyrie said between gasps.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" Tanith roared.

"YOU'RE SUCH A TWAT!"

"NO, YOU'RE THE TWAT, YOU TWAT!"

Both the girls laughing impossibly escalated until Valkyrie rolled off the sofa in fits of giggles.

"Ow." She mumbled landing face up on the carpet.

"Hold on." Tanith said. "I'm coming to get you."

"No, Tanith! Wait!"

But it was too late. Tanith had rolled off the sofa and landed straight on top of Valkyrie.

"Ow! Tanith!" Valkyrie groaned.

"Sorry!" Tanith propped herself up on her elbows so she was looking down at Valkyrie. "Hey you."

"Hey you."

"So… what'cha doin'?"

"Nothing much." Valkyrie shrugged, grinning. "You?"

"Nothing much."

Both girls laughed, absentmindedly, their laughing eventually trailing off. Tanith stared down at Valkyrie, Valkyrie looking up at her, the perplexed expression on her face again.

"Tanith, what's wro–"

She was cut off by Tanith's lips that descended onto hers.

"WOAH!" Valkyrie yelled pushing Tanith off her and sitting up. "WHOA, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?"

Tanith shrugged. "I… I don't know. I just… felt like it."

"You kissed me!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, well this ain't fucking Brokeback Mountain! You can't go doing all that shit!"

Tanith frowned at her. "Brokeback Mountain was two _guys_ not _girls_."

"Same thing!" Valkyrie snapped.

Tanith sighed. "Val, stop getting so hung up on it. I saw you there, underneath me, completely submissive, looking beautiful – I couldn't help myself."

"But you're straight, and so am I!"

"And?" Tanith shrugged. "Doesn't mean we can't have a bit of… fun." She leaned in closer to Valkyrie again. "Besides… tonight is your last night of freedom. Don't you want to take one last walk on the wide side?"

Valkyrie shivered, her best friend's lips mere centimetres from her own. "I… I'm getting married tomorrow, Tanith…"

"Exactly. You'll never get this chance again. Take it or leave it Val–"

Tanith was cut off by Valkyrie's lips crushing against her own. She was caught off guard at first, but she quickly responded by kissing back and putting her hands on Valkyrie's hips, pulling her closer.

Valkyrie broke off the kiss and looked at Tanith. "Promise me you won't tell Skulduggery?"

Tanith grinned. "I promise."

**I hope you like it :)**

**Up next: Ghastly/Fletcher  
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**Much love!  
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**xoxo  
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	10. Ghetcher: I've Missed You

**For those who requested some Ghetcher (I have no idea if that's the official name, but hey) here it is! This is for: Evangeline evergreen and Onyx Sprita - thank you for the suggesion! If Anyone else requested this and I forgot to mention your name, I am very sorry, but credit goes to you too :)**

**Enjoy!  
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"Bespoke, you son of a bitch!"

Ghastly turned around from where he was sat on his patio and looked at who had called him. He saw a familiar, friendly face, with light blue eyes and a cheeky grin, his face framed by spiky blonde hair. He stood up, and grinned at his friend.

"Fletcher, Renn, you bastard! Come here!"

Fletcher stepped forwards and embraced his old friend, patting him on the back. They pulled apart and smiled at one another.

"What are you doing here?" Ghastly laughed.

"Well, I've just got back from Australia, I come to see my old chum, and they tell me he's moved to an old lake house in the English Countryside, so naturally I had to come visit you." Fletcher looked up at the big house and at the patio where Ghastly was doing some paperwork on the bistro table. "You had to get away from Ireland, eh?" He asked, tone sympathetic.

Ghastly smiled sadly. "Too many memories."

"I know the feeling." There was a moment of silence before Fletcher clapped his hands together, pulling on a bright smile, trying to lighten the mood. "But hey, working from home can't be that bad, right? Especially when you've got such a nice view of the lake too keep you content."

Ghastly's playful grin returned as he looked out at the lake that was practically only thirty steps from his patio. "It's alright. I just fax or email my work over to the Sanctuary, and I can make clothes in my spare time." He sat down, offering Fletcher a seat. "Sit, sit, get comfortable, tell me all about Australia. You've been out there for _years_! How old are you now?"

Fletcher laughed and sat down. "I turned twenty five last month. I've been out there for seven years now, just fancied a visit home really."

"Have you seen Valkyrie?" Ghastly asked, gently.

"No. I still can't face her. Any news on Tanith?"

"She and Sanguine got hitched about a year ago."

Fletcher sighed, reaching a hand out to grip Ghastly's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Ghastly smiled, patting Fletcher's hand. "Women, eh?"

Fletcher smirked and drew his hand back. "Bloody pains, the lot of them."

"You ever get another girlfriend while you've been away?" Asked Ghastly.

"Yeah a few." Fletcher nodded. "But nothing ever lasts. You?"

"I was seeing a girl for a while about a year ago. But then I broke it off and decided to move down here. Probably the best decision I've ever made."

"You like it here then?"

"I love it."

Fletcher looked down at the paperwork Ghastly was doing that was on the table, being weighed down by a paper-weight. "What work you doing here then?"

"Just looking over some files the Sanctuary sent over."

"Mind if I take a look?"

"If you want, but they're not exactly thrilling stuff."

Fletcher shrugged and took the paper-weight off the work. As if all the forces of fate were against him, the moment he lifted the weight, the wind picked up and the paper caught the breeze being blown away high into the air, drifting over to the lake, landing in the water with unceremonious little splashes.

"_Shit_!" Fletcher yelled and got to his feet, running for the lake.

Ghastly stood up, shocked. "Fletcher! Wait! It's not that important!"

But Fletcher wasn't listening. He was running down the pier to the lake, kicking off his shoes and socks, and pulling off his shirt as he went.

"Fletcher!" Ghastly yelled. "It's no big deal! I can get the Sanctuary to send it over again!"

But it was too late, Fletcher had reached the end of the pier, yanked off his jeans, and dove into the water in his underwear.

"Oh, bloody hell!" Ghastly groaned. He followed Fletcher, running down the pier, stripping down to his underwear as he went, diving in after the blonde man.

Fletcher thrashed around in the ice-cold water, grabbing the soggy bits of paper that were floating all around him. Ghastly broke the water surface behind him and grabbed him by his shoulders.

"Fletcher Renn!" Ghastly snapped. "Are you _mad_?"

"I destroyed all your paper work!" Fletcher huffed back.

"No you didn't, the wind did. And the lake helped. You shouldn't have jumped in after it."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"You never do! You haven't changed a bit!"

Fletcher cracked a smile at this. He started to laugh, and it proved infectious as Ghastly started to laugh too.

"It's fucking freezing in here!" Fetcher gasped between laughs.

Ghastly nodded. "Not to mention the eels."

Fletcher visibly paled. "_Eels_?" Something snaked past his leg and he yelped and clung to Ghastly. "The _fuck_ was that?"

Ghastly laughed and held Fletcher by his waist. "Calm down, they won't hurt you."

Something else slipped past Fletcher's foot and he practically jumped into Ghastly' arms, making the other man burst out laughing. "_Get me out of this fucking lake_!" Fletcher was almost shrieking.

Ghastly laughed and began to tow the other man out of the lake with him. They both hoisted themselves upon the pier, and walked along it, back to the lake house. Ghastly helped Fletcher inside, sitting him down in the living room and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, fetching one for himself. Ghastly sat down beside his friend and tried not to laugh at him again.

Fletcher's teeth were chattering. "T-t-that w-was s-s-so c-cold."

Ghastly smiled. "Well you shouldn't have done it then, should you?"

"Sh-sh-shut u-up!"

Ghastly looked at Fletcher, oddly. "Are you really _that_ cold?"

"Bloody freezing!"

Ghastly looked at Fletcher closer, seeing that he was shaking, his lips going blue. "Geez, Fletch, do you not have circulation or anything?"

"E-evidentially n-n-not."

Ghastly shuffled closer to Fletcher, and put his hands on his arms, rubbing them, trying to warm him up through friction. When Fletcher's shaking didn't cease, Ghastly ended up wrapping his arms around the smaller man.

"T-thank y-you." Fletcher's teeth chattered.

Ghastly held Fletcher while his trembling slowed, and even when it stopped Ghastly didn't let go. He looked down at the blonde man in his arms and grinned when he saw he had fallen asleep. Ghastly sighed, gently and brushed Fletcher's wild, matted hair out of his eyes and dropped a light kiss upon his forehead. "I've missed you." He murmured softly.

**I hope you all liked it!**

**Next up, Ryan/Val - FINALLY! ;)  
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**xoxo  
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